At this time of the year many FFA chapters have just finished having their FFA banquet. How did it go? Having a great banquet requires a lot of work and some teachers find it to be challenging. But it doesn’t have to be. Over the years I have attended good FFA banquets and some not so good ones. Since the banquet should be fresh on your mind, now would be a good time to evaluate the banquet and plan for changes for next year.
To help you with that task, our old friend Joe Scatterscrew is gracing us with his presence. In case you are new to the Friday Footnote, Joe Scatterscrew is a fictitious agriculture teacher invented by E. V. Walton, a faculty member at Texas A & M. These stories were used in preparing agriculture teachers back in the 1950s.They humorously point out how NOT to do things.
Past Friday Footnotes featuring Joe Scatterscrew are Joe Writes Santa, A Bad New Year, Joe’s Cat Experiment, Joe Plans Ahead, Organizing For A New Year, and Joe Scatterscrew Confesses. Remember – the setting for the story is in the 1950s.
YOUR FFA BANQUET IS SHOWING
E. V. Walton
On the morning of his FFA Father-Son Banquet, Joe Scatterscrew cut himself twice while shaving. He finally stopped the blood on his chin and upper lip and went in to breakfast. Before he finished eating, he bawled his wife out and very nearly whipped two of his kids. He could see it was going to be a bad day. As soon as he gulped his coffee, he dashed out of the house. He had that “forgetting something” feeling.
By ten o’clock he had a splitting headache and a number one case of nervous indigestion. There were so blasted many things he had to do! He had to go to the locker and get the chickens. The chairs had to be hauled from the Methodist church to the lunchroom. He needed to rehearse the opening and closing ceremony. The officers had not learned their parts, but Joe wanted them to be sure and read them well. He also had to go out in the country and get some tree limbs and vines for decoration purposes. The cafeteria did not have enough knives and forks and he had to make arrangements for thirty more sets. What worried him the most, though, was a speaker. He had written a man three days before and had not heard a word from the son of a gun! Sometime during the day he found time to dash to the post office. Thank the Good Lord, the man said yes, but he pointed out that Joe had neglected to say what time the banquet was to be held. Well, never mind, they could hold off until the speaker arrived. Another thing– he had forgotten to invite Mr. Clytus Fraby who had done so much for the Chapter. Looks like it’s just one thing after another!
Joe Scatterscrew had dismissed the classes and sent all the boys to the study hall, except five whom he felt he could use. Naturally, all of the boys wanted to help. Anything to get out of the study hall, but they did not fool Joe. He had experienced that sort of thing before. The boys would just roam around, get in each other’s way, and maybe go downtown and loaf around to miss classes.
It was a hard day. Joe Scatterscrew felt like a man on a horse trying to ride off in all directions at once. By driving the few boys he selected, Joe thought perhaps he had everything as near ready as they would ever be. Forty minutes before the banquet was scheduled to begin, he was a nervous wreck, his headache was worse, and he still had that “forgetting something” feeling. He rushed home, took a hasty bath and changed clothes. He grabbed a couple of aspirins and hurried back to school.
The people were there, standing around and talking, but Joe did not have time to meet them and greet them. He had just remembered that he had forgotten to rehearse the opening and closing ceremony, and one of the lunchroom ladies reminded him that the ice cream had not been delivered. He rounded up the officers, rushed them into the history room, made them go through their parts. The president was pretty nervous and they were short one book.
Joe wished that he had taken four aspirins. When they finished rehearsing the opening ceremony, Joe went out to get the ice cream. Several patrons spoke to him, but he didn’t have time for idle conversation. By the time he got back with the ice cream, it was 20 minutes past the opening time for the banquet.
Finally, Joe got everyone inside the cafeteria and seated. Most of the Chapter members rushed in and seated themselves at the table next to the kitchen so they could be served first. The dads and visitors sat wherever they could. “Just anywhere,” Joe told them. He wasn’t taking any chances on things going wrong. He sat by the president of the Chapter.
The Home Economics girls did a good job. The food was rushed out piping hot. It looked good. Turkey and dressing and all the trimmings.
The Chapter staggered through the opening ceremony. When the sentinel finished with his part, he passed his book on to the secretary so everyone had a book. After that, a Chapter member gave a Welcome that he had memorized, but there was a bad minute when he forgot part of it. He got redder and redder and just when he thought he would never recall the paragraph, Joe came to his rescue with a loud whisper.
A dad responded very briefly, and that was followed by a report on Chapter accomplishments. By the time the Methodist preacher had been called upon to give the invocation, the food was cold and all of the visitors were very hungry and some were disgusted.
The speaker orated for 40 minutes, oblivious to the yawns of the audience, and then Joe used up about 25 minutes introducing people who had done a lot for the Chapter. Two of them were awarded honorary degrees, but no one had ordered any pins for them. When Joe finished, the two men just stood there wondering whether to sit, speak, or what. Finally, they sat down.
When the closing ceremony was over, it was 10:45 and Joe Scatterscrew heaved a sigh of relief. Nothing to do now but the cleanup job the next day. Oh well! He could just put his classes in the study hall and go do all that had to be done in a day–easy–with the help of two or three boys. He felt pretty good. He still had a headache, but thank goodness these banquets only happen once a year!
The next day while Joe and the four Greenhands he had selected to help him on the clean-up detail were trying to find some lost chairs they had borrowed at the last minute from the Baptist church, Joe Benton, the FFA President, and a new member, Tom Rhodes, got to talking about the banquet in the study hall. With the FFA boys in the room it was so crowded they could talk without getting caught by the harassed teacher. Joe Benton felt pretty good about the banquet.
“Man, I thought it was better than last year’s,” he said. “I was nervous about my part, but I read it right off.”
“Over at Duncan where I came from we didn’t read our parts.” “You didn’t? How come?”
“Man! We knew them! We memorized them! Every officer knew his part!
“I don’t see how you had time to learn all that stuff.” “We had regular meetings and practiced. Mr. Childers, our ag teacher, told us that the Chapter was ours. We could either be ashamed of it or proud of it. He said he would help us be proud of it but that he didn’t want anything to do with an organization that did not bring credit to us.”
“What did you do at all those meetings? We never seem to have anything much to do.”
“Well, for one thing, we set up our own program of work. We decided to have a banquet. That was a part of our program of work. Mr. Childers told us a banquet was a good way to show appreciation for our dads and others who helped us. Besides, it was a good way to show our program to the people.”
“I never thought about it like that. I just think of plenty to eat.”
“Well, we had plenty to eat last night–such as it was.” “What’s the matter with you, boy? That was good food!” “Sure it was. But who wants to eat cold food? I heard a man say if he had known he was going to have to sit there and watch his food get cold, he would have eaten before he came.”
“Say, you have a point there! I got hungry myself! Just how did you men over at Duncan High put on this banquet?”
“We organized. Mr. Childers told us it was our baby. He helped us set up committees.”
“What kind of committees?”
“Well, we had a program committee…”
“What did it do?”
“Organized the program. We started on time, had the invocation, and ate.”
“Didn’t you have the opening ceremony?”
“Sure, but not until we ate. We had some music–a string band. It played until the dishes were cleared away so our mothers wouldn’t have to stay up half the night washing dishes.”
“That’s a good idea. And then?”
“We opened the Chapter and one of the boys welcomed the visitors. We had selected our speaker and limited him to not more than 15 or 20 minutes. Two of the members put on a dialogue that revealed our Chapter accomplishments and then we awarded our honorary degrees with the ceremony the manual recommends. Our Chapter Sweetheart pinned their pins on and the newspaper photographer took their pictures.”
“Sounds good. What did the teacher do?”
“Nothing. Except to take part in the ceremony. It was our banquet, remember?”
“Yeah. Do they have the same thing every year?” “No. That’s up to the program committee. Each one tries to have a better program than the year before.”
“Now, let’s see. You started on time, ate, opened the Chapter and had a short lively program and quit on time.”
“That’s right.”
“O.K. Now, what other committees did you have?” “Reception committee, invitation committee, arrangements and decoration, foods, finance, and clean-up committee.”
“Say! You must have had about every boy in the Chapter on that many committees.”
“We did. And everyone knew exactly what his job was. Each committee reported its plan to a prior meeting of the Chapter and got the plan approved.”
“Who served as chairman?”
“The officers.”
“This reception committee. What did it do?”
“It was small. The boys on that committee met the guests, introduced themselves and escorted people to their places. That reminds me. I thought it looked pretty bad for our members to sit by themselves. Why didn’t we sit by our dads? And some boy-dad couples could have been seated with our guests who were not at the head table.”
“Say, why didn’t you tell us some of these things. By golly, you guys must have had a good Chapter over at Duncan.”
“I would have mentioned some of these things, but it seemed like Mr. Scatterscrew was sorta running the whole show–so I didn’t feel free to say anything.”
“That’s right. Although I’m president, I’m not proud of our Chapter. We just don’t ever do much. I don’t feel like I’m given the opportunity to provide any leadership. Well, what did the other committees do at Duncan?”
“The invitation committee made a list of people to be invited, got it approved by the Chapter, and sent out the invitations. Incidentally, the members of the invitation committee wrote visitors outside the school and thanked them for coming. They also sent a special letter of thanks to the speaker. He appreciated it, too. He said it was the first time he had ever received a letter like that. That committee was really on the ball! They sent out invitations with a self-addressed postcard and we knew ten days in advance who our guests would be.”
“That made it easy on the foods committee.”
“It sure did. That committee had a job. With the help of the Home Economics teacher, they prepared a menu and estimated costs for the finance committee.”
“Didn’t you ask each family to contribute something? Pies, cakes, chickens?”
“No sir! We paid our own way! First class, we bought everything! The finance committee worked as a special committee with our treasurer.”
“What did your arrangements committee do?”
“Planned the decorations. Incidentally, that was a sweet arrangement. The members worked with the Home Economics girls.”
“That’s a good deal!”
“Sure. And then they decorated the cafeteria. They also made place cards and prepared the printed programs, set up the chairs, placed the station markers, and prepared an exhibit of pictures, shop projects, and awarded banners out in the hall where the people gathered before the banquet.”
“Boy, what a deal that was for the ag teacher! He didn’t do anything!”
“Well, yes, he did. But we could have put it on without him. He said it was a compliment to us that he could have taken off and gone fishing.”
“He must be a good teacher.”
“The banquet gave him a chance to talk to the people and help the reception committee as people gathered for the banquet.”
“Didn’t he say anything at the banquet?”
“No. Not until we gave him a new shotgun as a gift. He told the people and our mothers and dads how proud he was of us…and then he just looked at his shotgun and…well…sat down. He sure was happy.”
“Did you say mothers and dads?”
“Yes. Our Chapter decided that our mothers had contributed just as much to our success as our dads–and we honored them too.”
“I sure would like to visit Duncan and go to a banquet.” “They are going to have a barbecue this year.” “Oh. So it will be different!”
“Yes, but you can bet one thing. The committees will really put the job over. Mr. Childers sorta made us want to go first class–on everything we did.”
“Don’t you get a little homesick for the Duncan FFA Chapter?” “Frankly, yes I do. But we could do things just as well right here. Mr. Childers always said we could make our chapter as poor or as good as we wanted it to be.”
Curator’s Note – Do a Google search for FFA Banquet Planning Guide for help in planning your banquet.